My Journey to Mental Toughness

posted on: April 6, 2013
author: Brian Lomax, Ed.D.

When I was 6 years old, I failed advanced beginner swimming lessons, and thus my tennis career was born!  At that time, my family had a membership at a swim and tennis club and my sisters and I went there on a daily basis.  And as the name of the club implies, there were two basic activities one could do at this club:  swim or play tennis.  My reaction to failing at swimming lessons was to quit swimming altogether.  Clearly, at this point in my life I didn’t have the perspective of using failure as a learning opportunity!  That would come much later.

With swimming no longer an option in my 6 year old mind, I was left with tennis.  It was the mid-70’s and the tennis boom was in full swing.  I began to take lessons.  I hit against a wall.  I started to develop some proficiency, and since no one told me I was a failure, I continued to work.  After a couple of summers of taking lessons, I began to compete on the club team and then in tournaments.  As I got older, I started watching tennis on television more often and I became inspired by the stars of the era – players like Bjorn Borg and Ivan Lendl.  I mimicked their serves, strokes, and mannerisms on the court (I didn’t do so well mimicking their temperament though, but that’s a story for another day!).  I continued to improve and throughout my high school career, I was one of the best players in the state.

Sounds like a nice little story, doesn’t it?  The reality is that it’s a story of unfulfilled potential for a couple of reasons.  First, I resisted ever setting real goals for my tennis career which meant that I had no vision of the type of player I wanted to become someday.  I improved simply because I played a lot and I loved the sport, but my tennis growth wasn’t as intentional as it should have been.  If I had been truly intentional about what I wanted from tennis, I would have worked harder on various parts of my game to get me to my goals and I would be a far better player today.

Second, my reaction to losing and failure lacked perspective, and the behavior I exhibited as a 6 year old, which was to simply quit when things got tough, continued throughout my teenage years.  I would occasionally learn from losses, but I tended to see them as a validation of who I was rather than a stepping stone toward who I could become.

It wasn’t until I was about 30 years old that the many concepts of mental toughness came to me and began to reshape my tennis career.  At the time, I asked myself “Why didn’t anyone tell me about this?  Why didn’t I know this before?”

This story is why I started PerformanceXtra.  I want people to know about these concepts.  I don’t want them to have to wait to find out about them like I did and then wonder why no one ever told them about this.  There are many good athletes out there who have unlimited potential, but they haven’t learned how to be great competitors yet.  They haven’t had exposure to the information they need to become more intentional about their growth as a person and as an athlete.  Being mentally tough and being a great competitor is something that just isn’t taught today and it truly should be.  At PerformanceXtra, we have a system for training these skills and helping athletes reach their goals.  If you’re an athlete or a coach and you’re serious about your sport, I invite you to look at our pages dedicated to serving you.

For Athletes

I want you to have the tools and information you need to be the best competitor or coach you possibly can be.  I look forward to helping you on your journey.